Ethics of Disagreement


Very often, people philosophise and agonize about the state of the Ummah. It is true that what happens in other parts of the world, affect us directly: we are concerned; we voice our feelings and assist according to our means. However, what we sometimes forget, is that whilst we are thinking globally, we fail to act...locally!

We, too have pressing issues at home. Disagreement and dissension, is capable of breaking up any society - and THIS is an issue that we need to face squarely!

Unity above everything

Prophet Musa (A.S.) once became extremely upset with his brother Harun (Alayhis salaam), who was also a Prophet. He grabbed him by his hair and pulled his beard. Musa (Alayhis salaam) held Harun (Alayhis salaam) responsible for allowing the Bani-Isra'il in following 'Saamiri' and going back to worshipping the idols, during his absence. Harun (A.S.) sadly replied: "O son of my mother, do not seize me by my beard or my head. Truly, I feared but you should say that I caused a division among the Bani-Isra'il and did not respect my word " (20:94)

This verse shows that Harun (A.S.) was extremely concerned with the unity of the Bani-Isra'il. He was waiting for his brother to come back and calmly resolve this problem, thereby avoiding dissension.

Disagreements and differences between people are natural. All of us are different in one way or another. We come from different backgrounds and upbringings, we speak different languages, we belong to different ethnic backgrounds, and have variegated levels of education. We may therefore have different perceptions, opinions, and approaches. Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala says: "If Allah had so willed, He would have made you a single community, but (His plan is) to test you in what He has given you; so strive as in a race in all virtues. The return of you all is to Allah; it is He that will show you the truth of the matters in which you dispute." (5:48)

From this ayah we see that being different is by Allah's design. Differences among people cannot be and will not be eliminated. Therefore, we have to make our differences and disagreements work to the advantage of the Ummah. Can we prevent dissension and enmity by learning how to disagree? To differ and disagree is only natural, But the WAY we differ, is a matter of attitude and discipline.

Types of disagreement

There are three types of disagreements. The first is normal disagreement, IKHTILAF. It is used to describe a situation in which people genuinely cannot agree on issues. The second disagreement is dialectical in nature, JADAL. The aim of this kind of disagreement is ultimately to win an argument. At best, it is fruitless and serves no higher purpose. The third type and worst type of disagreement is dissension, SHIQAQ. This is when parties hold beliefs that are mutually exclusive. Each party has no room for the other's opinion. It is when pride and arrogance subverts the rational mind to the lowest of the low. It may even lead to violence.

We have seen evidence of dissension in our society: family and business squabbles that dissipate the energy and resources of people; institutions of learning that bicker on irrelevant issues; road rage incidents that lead to death amongst neighbours; pamphleteering amongst organisations; malicious slandering etc. These are some of the symptoms of unacceptable disagreements that we see around us. They lead to disunity. They can be caused by selfishness, pride, arrogance and ignorance; or by blind loyalty to groups, parties or leaders. Allah warns us about these kinds of disagreements and gave us the examples of nations before us who destroyed themselves through dissension. Allah says: "And do not dispute with one another, lest you lose heart and your moral strength desert you..." (8:46)

Imagine the situation of a group of people who are trapped at the bottom of a deep pit. Either they can argue forever about who can jump high enough to reach the top until they get exhausted and die, or they can stand on each other's shoulders and by mutual co-operation reach the top. The Sahabah (R.A.) differed among themselves on a number of issues, starting with choosing the successor to the Prophet (S.A.W.). They differed on strategy in political matters, on interpretations in fiqhi issues. BUT they continued to have respect, love and reverence for each other. The founders of the different fiqh schools, although disagreeing on many issues, even so had great respect for each other.

Can we be the same? Can we disagree and remain united? I believe we can. The first and foremost guarantee of our unity, is setting our objective wholly and sincerely to please Allah. We need to train our hearts to reject pride and jealousy. To remain ONE community, we need to subordinate our desires to Allah's desire.

Some of the pitfalls we need to avoid:


Generalizing and stereotyping: "This person or that organization is like this," or "they are all the same."

Doubt: Be careful about your assumptions. "Who is behind this?" "Where do they get their money from?" and so on, planting the seed of doubt and mistrust.

Jumping to conclusions: "He is the culprit." Hear the whole story, get information, hear all sides before judging any individual or group.

Speaking about what you do not know: Speak only after thorough investigation. Allah says: "Do not pursue that which you have no knowledge of."

Some aspects we need to emphasize:


1. Make your loyalty to Allah alone, and look for justice and truth.

2. If a discussion gets heated, stop it immediately.

3. Always keep in mind that your brother or sister has the right to his/her opinion, just like you do.

4. It is always better to debate an issue without settling it, than to settle it without debating it.

5. Do not leave an argument carrying a grudge.

6. Conclude with a handshake, smile or a hug where permitted and appropriate.

7. Assure the other side that your disagreement does not change your love and respect for him.

Above all, let us not be from those who have broken the unity of their faith and become sects, each group delighting in what they follow (30:31-32).

NEW Class: Gateway to Arabic 1- teacher Abeer- OPEN for Registration

In the name of Allah
Assalamu alaykum dear sisters

We are planning to start a new Arabic lesson: Gateway Arabic book 1 ( this is a set of 6 books)

Anyone who does not know Arabic and wishes to learn it for free,
who might be working during the week, only free on weekends should not miss this chance!

The teacher : sister Abeer ( who speaks English fluently )

The class timing:
 either Saturday or Sunday
4:30am Egypt time / 5:30am KSA / 2:30am GMT /
7:30am Pakistan time / 8:00am India Sri lanka time
/ 10:30am Pacific china time / 11:30am Japan time /
13:30pm Australia time
( Friday or Saturday night of US and Canada )
9:30pm EST ( US East time )

If you wish to join you have to send an email with the following details:

1- Your Skype ID

2- Which day and timing you prefer ( one of the two above mentioned ones)

3- You must download the book before the first class

http://www.al3arabiya.org/2009/12/gateway-to-arabic-book-1-audio.html
or
http://archive.org/details/GatewayToArabicBook1
( It may take time to download, please be patient )

4- You must promise to keep yourself regular to class. If you miss 3 classes without informing us with a valid reason you will be removed from the classroom.

If you are serious about the lesson just give us your time and make effort then we guarantee you will improve in sha Allah .....

beg Allah to make it all easy and possible ...

Men wearing red clothes

Question : I've heard that it's wrong for men to wear red. Is this true?

Praise be to Allaah. 
The scholars differed concerning the ruling on men wearing red clothes, and different ahaadeeth have been narrated concerning that. Some ahaadeeth indicate that wearing red is forbidden, whilst others indicate that it is permitted. It is possible to reconcile between them – praise be to Allaah – because the ahaadeeth do not contradict with one another in fact, as the source is one. The correct view concerning this matter is that the ahaadeeth can be reconciled in the following manner:
 It is permissible to wear red clothes if the red is combined with another colour; it is not permissible to wear plain red, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade doing so.
 There follows a discussion of some of the ahaadeeth on this issue:
 A-   The ahaadeeth which forbid wearing plain red.
 1.     From al-Baraa’ ibn ‘Aazib (may Allaah be pleased with him): “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade us to use soft red mattresses and qasiy – garments with woven stripes of silk.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5390)
2.      From Ibn ‘Abbaas, who said: “I was forbidden (to wear) red garments and gold rings, and to recite Qur’aan in rukoo’.” (Narrated by al-Nasaa’i, no. 5171. Imaam al-Albaani said: its isnaad is saheeh. Saheeh Sunan al-Nasaa’i, 1068).
3.     From ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-Aas (may Allaah be pleased with them both), who said: “A man passed by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) wearing two red garments and greeted him with salaam, but he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not return the greeting.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, no. 2731; Abu Dawood, no. 3574. Al-Tirmidhi said: this hadeeth is hasan ghareeb with this isnaad). According to the scholars, the meaning of this hadeeth is that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) disliked the wearing of garments dyed with safflower (the red dyestuff obtained from safflowers), but he had no objection to garments dyed with clay or other substances, so long as it was not dyed with safflower. This hadeeth was classed as da’eef by al-Albaani (Da’eef Sunan Abi Dawood, 403;Da’eef Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 334. He said: its isnaad is da’eef).
 B. Ahaadeeth which may be understood to mean that it is permissible to wear red if it is mixed with another colour:
 1.      From Hilaal ibn ‘Aamir from his father, who said: “I saw the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) in Mina, giving a khutbah sitting on his mule, wearing a red cloak, and ‘Ali was in front of him, repeating what he said (in a loud voice, so that the people could hear).”(Narrated by Abu Dawood, no. 3551; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani –Saheeh Sunan Abi Dawood, 767).
2.      The hadeeth of al-Baraa’ ibn ‘Aazib (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was of average build. I saw him in a red hullah, and I never saw anyone more handsome than him (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 5400; Muslim, 4308).
3.      From al-Baraa’, who said: “I never saw anyone who has hair wearing a red hullah and looking more handsome than the Messenger of Allaah(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He had hair down to his shoulders, he was broad-shouldered and was neither short nor tall.”(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, no. 1646. He said: in this chapter there is a report from Jaabir ibn Samurah and Abu Rimthah and Abu Juhayfah. This hadeeth is hasan saheeh…)
4.     From al-Baraa’ who said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had hair down to his earlobes. I saw him wearing a red hullah, and I have never seen anyone more handsome than him.” (Narrated by Abu Dawood, no. 4072; Ibn Maajah, no. 3599. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani – Saheeh Sunan Abi dawood, 768).
5.     Al-Bayhaqi narrated in al-Sunan: “[The Prophet] (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to wear a red cloak on Eid.”
 What is meant by a red hullah is a suit of two Yemeni garments which are woven with red and black stripes, or red and green stripes. It is described as red because of the red stripes in it. 
This is the view of a number of scholars, such as al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (Fath al-Baari Sharh ‘ala Saheeh al-Bukhaari, no. 5400) and Ibn al-Qayyim (Zaad al-Ma’aad, 1-137). And Allaah knows best.

She gets yellowish and brownish discharge before and during her period, and that may last all month


I am not married and my period comes regularly every month. But my problem is that it starts off yellow, tinged with beige and brown, and sometimes goes on for three or four days with pain in the lower abdomen, intense agitation and bad mood. Then it becomes black for one or two days at the most, then red blood comes for between five and seven days, then it goes back to a brown colour, then yellow, then after one or two days of the yellow discharge, sometimes there is a white discharge, the sign of purity (end of the period), or sometimes the yellow discharge continues until the next period, i.e., it lasts for a month.
My question is: when should I pray and when should I stop praying? When should I fast and when should I not fast?



Praise be to Allah.
Firstly:
The yellowish or brownish discharge that precedes the blood is not regarded as the menses; the same applies to that which comes after seeing the white discharge (that signals the end of the period), because Umm Salamah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: “We used not to regard the yellowish brownish discharge after the white discharge (that signals the end of the period) as being of any significance.”
Narrated by Abu Dawood, 307; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 199
With regard to yellowish and brownish discharge that comes after the bleeding and before the white discharge (that signals the end of the period), this is regarded as menses, because of the report narrated by Maalik in al-Muwatta’, 130, from Umm Salamah, according to which she said: The women used to send to ‘Aa’ishah, the Mother of the Believers, small vessels containing the pieces of cotton on which there were yellowish traces from the menstrual blood, and they would ask her about praying, and she would say to them: Do not be hasty until you see the white discharge, referring to that which signals the end of the period.
This was also narrated by al-Bukhaari in a mu‘allaq report (Kitaab al-Hayd, Baab iqbaal al-Maheed wa idbaarihi; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 198
Based on that, the yellowish or brownish discharge that lasts for three or four days before the bleeding starts is not regarded as menses, and you should not stop praying or fasting at that time.
The black blood and the red blood that comes after it, and the yellowish discharge, are menses, until you see the white discharge or complete dryness.
If you see the white discharge or complete dryness, any discharge after that, yellowish or brownish, is not regarded as menses.
Please see questions no. 171945, 157020 and 82507
Secondly:
If the red blood continues, or the yellowish or brownish discharge that come after it, before the white discharge or complete dryness appear – if that goes on for longer than fifteen days, then you are mustahaadah (i.e., experiencing istihaadah or irregular, non-menstrual bleeding), according to the majority of scholars. Some scholars say that istihaadah cannot be proven unless that continues for the entire month or for the entire month apart from two or three days. This is the view favoured by Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah and those who followed him and those who do not think there is any maximum length for the menses, and their view is closer to the apparent meaning of the evidence.
If it becomes clear that you are experiencing istihaadah, then in the following months you should act in accordance with your cycle as it was in the past. So you should stop praying and so on for the duration of bleeding, until the appearance of the white discharge (signalling the end of the period) that you mentioned in your question, then you should do ghusl. For example, if your period, before experiencing istihaadah, used to last for ten days, then you should do ghusl after the tenth day, and do wudoo’ at the time of each prayer.
A woman who did not have a regular cycle before experiencing istihaadah should base her actions on differentiating between different kinds of bleeding. This has been explained in the answer to question no. 68818 ( www.Islamqa.com)

Our advice to you is to consult a specialist doctor for treatment of these ongoing discharges.
And Allah knows best.

Islamic Manners Class 15 - teacher Umm Yusif



ISLAMIC MANNERS
Class #15

The Manners of Adornment and Attire (cont.) (fifteenth chapter in the The Book of Manners by Fu’ad Ibn ‘Abdul-‘Azeez Ash-Shulhoob – publisher: Darussalam) 

 Manners of Adornment (cont.)
 
a. Prohibition of wearing clothing with a picture of a being that has a soul  

b. Start with the right side when putting on clothing  

c. What to say when wearing something new  

d.
Men are forbidden to wear plain red clothing  


It is permissible to wear red clothes if the red is combined with another colour; it is not permissible to wear plain red, because the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade doing so.

e. Men are forbidden to wear gold rings  

f. Grooming one’s hair 

g. Men growing beards and trimming the moustaches 

h. Forbidden to dye the gray hair black 

i. Kohl for the eyes 

j. Adornment prohibited for women  

Islamic Manners Class 14 - teacher Umm Yusuf



ISLAMIC MANNERS
Class #14


The Manners of Adornment and Attire (fifteenth chapter in the The Book of Manners by Fu’ad Ibn ‘Abdul-‘Azeez Ash-Shulhoob – publisher: Darussalam) 


1.    Must cover the awrah (private parts)  

2.    Forbidden for men to imitate women and women to imitate men  

3.    Manners of Adornment  
a. Men are forbidden to drag garment out of haughtiness and self-conceit    
b. Wearing strange or extravagant clothing to draw attention  
c. Forbidden for men to wear gold or silk  
d. It is sunnah for the men to wear short clothing and the women long     
e. Prohibition of wearing clothing with a picture of a being that has a soul    
f. Start with the right side when putting on clothing  

Islamic Manners Class 13- teacher Umm Yusif



ISLAMIC MANNERS
Class #13


The Manners of Visiting the Sick (fourteenth chapter in the The Book of Manners by Fu’ad Ibn ‘Abdul-‘Azeez Ash-Shulhoob – publisher: Darussalam) 

1.    The virtues of visiting the sick 

2.    Make the visit short 

3.    Asking about one’s condition and saying comforting words 
a.    Complaining about illness 

4.    Supplications for the sick 
a.    Place one’s hand over the person  

5.    Reading invocations (ruqya) over the patient 

6.    Prompting the dying person to say the shahada