Advice to the Husbands who constantly threaten their wives with divorce
when angry
By Shaykh Uthaymeen
My advice to these men is for them to be men
in the true sense of the word, and they should control themselves and not give
in to anger. A man said to the Prophet, peace and blessings are upon him:
Advise me. He responded: Do not become angry. The man repeated his request
several times, and he continued to say: Do not become angry.
And the cure for the disputes that occur
between the spouses is not for the husband to expel her from the home and send
her to her family; this is not permissible except under extreme circumstances.
Rather it is appropriate for him to be loving with his wife and to pardon her
misconduct.
And the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him
said: Let not the
believing man despise the believing woman. (Do not despise, meaning do
not hate or detest) Let not the believing man despise the believing woman, if
he hates a characteristic from her will be pleased with another of her
characteristics.
Thus it is befitting for the man to be a man
in the true sense of the word.
Who is the one who forgets all the good deeds
if one evil deed occurs? Who is the one who forgets all the good deeds if one
evil deed befalls them? (The answer is) The woman. Are you pleased to reduce
yourself until you are on the level of a woman? If you see one evil deed from
her you say: I have never seen any good from you.
Thus I advise our brothers, if there occurs
between them and their wives problems, they must remain patient, endure and
deal with the woman in the appropriate manner as we have been advised by the
Prophet, peace and blessings are upon him.
He said: The woman is created from the rib,
and the most crooked part of the rib is the upmost part. If you try to straighten
it, you will break her, so if you enjoy her, then enjoy her with the
crookedness that is in her.
This is how it was said by the Prophet, peace
and blessings are upon him.
And if the man obeys Allah and His Messenger
in dealing with his family, Allah will replace the animosity and hatred in her
heart, changing it to compassion and love. Allah the Exalted says:
وَلَا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا
السَّيِّئَةُ ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي بَيْنَكَ
وَبَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ
The good deed and the evil deed cannot be
equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allah ordered the
faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who
treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will
become)…
Complete the verse.
كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِيمٌ
As though he was a close friend
The hearts are in the Hand of Allah the
Exalted. Repel the evil with that which is better, O believers.
==============================
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
The Key for the Abode of Happiness
Adapted to English By Dr. Saleh As-Saleh, May
Allah Forgive him, his parents, and all the Muslims
The Prophet (sallAllahu 'aleihi was-sallam)
said, "The example of guidance and knowledge with which Allah has sent me
is like abundant rain falling on the earth, some of which was fertile soil that
absorbed rain water and brought forth vegetation and grass in abundance. (And)
another portion of it was hard and held the rain water and Allah benefited the
people with it and they utilized it for drinking, making their animals drink
from it and for irrigation of the land for cultivation. (And) a portion of it
was barren which could neither hold the water nor bring forth vegetation (then
that land gave no benefits). The first is the example of the person who
comprehends Allah's religion and gets benefit (from the knowledge) which Allah
has revealed through me (the Prophet) and learns and then teaches others. The
last example is that of a person who does not care for it and does not take
Allah's guidance revealed through me (he is like that barren land.)"
[Bukhari, Vol. 1, Book 1, Hadeeth 79].
In his commentary on this hadeeth, Imaam
Ibnul Qayyim (rahimahullaah) concluded in his book (Muftahu-daris-Sa'aadah),
that the Prophet (sallAllahu 'aleihi was-sallam) categorised people into three
types with respect to their acceptance and readiness to memorise, understand
and deduct the wisdoms and benefits of knowledge.
The First Category: Ahlul-hifthi-wal-Faham (People of
Memorization and Understanding).
They are those who memorise, understand the
meanings, deduct the aspects of rulings, the wisdoms therein, and the benefits.
Their example is like the land which accepts the rain water (memory absorbing
knowledge) and brings forth vegetation and grass in abundance. This vegetation
and grass is the fahm (the understanding) and ability to deduce. This is the
example of those who kept what they memorised and understood it. They are the
people of texts and understanding.
The
Second Category: Ahlul-hifth (People of Memorization Only)
Those are able to memorise and relate in
precision, but they do not have the ability to understand the meanings, nor to
deduct or address the wisdoms and benefits therein. They are like those who
recite the Qur'aan, memorise it, precisely recite and pronounce the letters and
hold to the grammar, but without comprehending it.
On the other hand people vary to great
extents in terms of their understanding of the texts spoken by Allah and (or)
by His Messenger. Some may understand a ruling or two while others may deduce
from the same text one hundred or two hundred rulings. The example of these two
categories as mentioned in the hadeeth is like the land which has the water.
People can benefit from it: drinking, giving it to others to drink, arrogation,
and so forth.
These two categories, the first and the
second are the happy ones, and the first category is higher in rank. This is
the Favour of Allah:
This
is the Grace of Allah, which He bestows on whom He wills. And Allah is the
Owner of Mighty Grace. [Qur'aan 62:4].
They are the ones who have no
share in memorization nor in understanding. Their similitude in the hadeeth is
that of the barren land, which could neither hold the water nor bring forth
vegetation. Hence no produce (no benefit), and these are the wicked ones.
The first two categories, those who memorised,
learned and understood, and the others who memorised without being able to
understand, share the knowledge and teach, each in accordance with the extent
he may have received and accepted. The latter knows the wording of the Qur’aan
teaches it and memorises it, while the former knows the wording, the meaning
and the ruling and teaches them. The third category has no knowledge nor
teaching.
This hadeeth, therefore, makes clear the nobility and
rank of knowledge and teaching, and the children of Adamâ’s ('aleihis-salaam)
categories with respect to this matter. The happy ones and the wicked ones. And
in this hadeeth there is evidence that people's need for knowledge is like
their need for rain, rather more. And if they fail to find (seek) the knowledge
then they are the land that missed the rain. Imam Ahmed (rahimahullaah) said:
People are in need of knowledge more than their need for food and drink,
because food is needed only once or twice a day, whereas knowledge is needed as
much as the number of breaths." This is because each breath needs to be
accompanied with faith and wisdom. And if faith and wisdom disassociate from a
single breath, then he is ruined. And there is no way to protect against this
except by the way of knowledge.
Listen now and contemplate the verse in the Qur'aan, in
soorat ar-Ra’d (13:17). Allah, the Most High, says:
أَنزَلَ مِنَ السَّمَاءِ مَاءً فَسَالَتْ أَوْدِيَةٌ
بِقَدَرِهَا فَاحْتَمَلَ السَّيْلُ زَبَدًا رَّابِيًا ۚ وَمِمَّا يُوقِدُونَ
عَلَيْهِ فِي النَّارِ ابْتِغَاءَ حِلْيَةٍ أَوْ مَتَاعٍ زَبَدٌ مِّثْلُهُ ۚ
كَذَٰلِكَ يَضْرِبُ اللَّهُ الْحَقَّ وَالْبَاطِلَ ۚ فَأَمَّا الزَّبَدُ
فَيَذْهَبُ جُفَاءً ۖ وَأَمَّا مَا يَنفَعُ النَّاسَ فَيَمْكُثُ فِي الْأَرْضِ ۚ
كَذَٰلِكَ يَضْرِبُ اللَّهُ الْأَمْثَالَ
﴿١٧﴾
He
sends down water (rain) from the sky, and the valleys flow according to their
measure, but the flood bears away the foam that mounts up to the surface, and
(also) from that (ore) which they heat in the fire in order to make ornaments
or utensils, rises a foam like unto it, thus does Allah (by parables) show
forth truth and falsehood Then, as for the foam it passes away as scum upon the
banks, while that which is for the good of mankind remains in the earth. Thus
Allah sets forth parables (for the truth and falsehood, i.e. Belief and
disbelief) .
In this aayah (verse), Allah gave a similitude for the
knowledge which He bestowed upon His Messenger (salla Allahu alihi wa sallam).
It is like the rain which He sent down from the sky, because it produces life
and benefits mankind in their livelihood, and for the provisions they need in
their journey of return to Allah. Then He set the parable of the heart as the
valley when He, subhanahu wa ta'ala, said (what means): And the valleys flow
according to their measure. A big heart accommodates a lot of the knowledge,
like a great valley accommodating a lot of rain, and a small heart accommodates
little knowledge like a small valley holding little water. That is why He, subhanahu
wa ta'ala, said (what means): And the valleys flow according to their measure.
This is parable of the knowledge when it sets or touches the heart. It takes away from the heart the foam (of
false doubts), and it carries it to the surface of the heart, like when He,
subhanahu wa ta'ala, said (what means): The flood bears away the foam that
mounts up to the surface. It does not settle in the valley. Similarly, the
false misconceptions when removed by knowledge go to the top surface of the
heart where they float and do not settle. Rather they dry out and go away. What
settles in the heart is that which benefits it from guidance on truth, as the
pure water settles in the valley while the foam washes away.
Then
Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, set another parable in the same verse:
And (also) from that (ore) which they heat in
the fire in order to make ornaments or utensils, rises a foam like unto
it."
This
is the ore people use to heat and to melt the gold and silver, copper and iron,
in order to take away the impurities contained therein. The impurity is the
foam driven out by the fire's heat, and what remains is pure essence.
Therefore, in these parables you see two things mentioned:
(i) the rain which
is the water, because of the life therein, its cooling and what it produces
from benefits,
(ii) the other is fire, which eliminates and
burns.
The
ayahs of the Qur'aan bring life to the heart as the rain gives life to the
earth, and it burns away the doubts and the lust and its filth, just like the
fire burns what falls in it. In addition, the verses distinguish what is good
of the essence as compared to falsehood (the foam), just like the fire takes
away the impurities from gold, silver, copper and the like.
"Thus Allah sets forth parables (for the
truth and falsehood, i.e. Belief and disbelief).
We ask Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, to make us
of those who know and comprehend, and of those who comply and submit. Aameen.
The slave of Allah, Saleh As-Saleh, May Allah
reward sis Umm Noor al-Biritaaniyyah al-Yamaniyyah for transcribing this
lecture, and sis Umm Ahmad al-Kanadiyyah for her final editing.
[Majmoo’ Fataawa wa Maqaalaat Mutanawwi’ah li
Samaahat al-Shaykh ‘Abd al- ‘Azeez ibn ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Baaz, Vol. 11, pp.
188-190]
From ‘Abdul ‘Aziz Bin ‘Abdullah Ibn Baz to
those who receive this among Muslims. May Allah guide all Muslims and increase
their knowledge and faith, amen!
It gives me pleasure to remind my Muslim
sisters that it is of the Sunnah for a Muslim to say after each obligatory
Salah, whether one is the Imam (the one who leads the congregational Salah),
Ma'mum (a person being led by an Imam in Prayer) or Mufarid (a person who
performs prayer alone) to say, "Astagfir Allah" (I ask Allah
forgiveness) three times and then say, "Allahumma Anta Al-Salam Wa Minka
Al-Salam, Tabarakta Wa Ta’alayta Ya-dhal-Jalali Wal-Ikram" (O Allah, You
are Al-Salam [the One Who is free from all defects and deficiencies] and from
You is all peace, blessed are You, Possessor of majesty and honor!) If one is
Imam, one should turn facing the people. The Imam, those praying behind him, or
a person offering Salah individually should say, "La Ilaha Illa Allah,
Wahdahu La Sharika Lah, Lahul-Mulku Wa-Lahul-Hamdu, Wa-Huwa ‘Ala Kulli Shai’in
Qadir, La Hawla Wa-La Quwwata Illa Billah, La Ilaha Illa Allah Wa-La Na’budu
Illa Iyyahu, Lahun-Ni’matu Wa-Lahul-Fadl, Wa-Lahu Ath-Thanaa'u Al-Hasan, La
Ilaha Illa Allah Mukhlisina, Lahud-Dina Wa-Law Karihal-Kafirun. Allahumma La
Mani’a Lima A’tait Wa-La Mu’ty Lima Man’t, Wa-La Yanfa’u Dhal-Gaddu
Minkal-Gadd. (None has the right to be worshipped except Allah, alone, without
any partner. To Allah belong all sovereignty and praise. He is Omnipotent over
all things. There is no might nor power except with Allah. None has the right
to be worshipped except Him. We worship none but Him. To Allah all favor,
grace, and praise are due. None has the right to be worshipped except Allah and
we are sincere in faith and devotion to Him although disbelievers detest it. Oh
Allah! Oh Allah! None can prevent what You willed to give and none can grant
what You have willed to prevent, and no wealth or majesty can benefit anyone,
as from You is all wealth and majesty).
After offering Maghrib (Sunset) Prayer and
Fajr (Dawn) Prayer one should say along with what is mentioned previously,
"La Ilah Illa Allah Wahdahu La Sharika Lahu Lahu Al-Mulk Wa Lahu Al-Hamd Yuhyi
Wa Yumit Wa Huwa ‘Ala Kulli Shay'in Qadir" (There is no deity worthy of
worship except Allah Alone, He have no associate. His is the Dominion to Him is
due all praise; He gives life and causes death
and He has power over all things). After
that, one is to say each of the following supplications thirty three times; (a)
"Subhana Allah" (Glory is to Allah), (b) Al-Hamdu Lillah (praise is
due to Allah) and (c) "Allahu Akbar" (Allah is the Great), and then
completes the hundred times saying, "La Ilah Illa Allah, Wahdahu La
Sharika Lah, Lahu Al-Mulk Wa Lahu Al-Hamd, Yuhyi Wa Yumit, Wa Huwa ‘Ala Kull
Shay'in Qadir".
It is recommended for the Imam, Ma'mum, and
Munfarid to recite these supplications audibly after each obligatory Salah in a
low voice without disturbing others. It is authentically reported in the two
Sahih on the authority of Ibn ‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them) that
raising one's voice in supplication after concluding the obligatory Salah was
during the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him). Ibn
‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with them) said,
"I used to know when they finished the Salah by this (supplications as
they were said aloud) if I heard them."
However, it is not permissible to say these
supplications collectively. Each worshipper should recite them individually
without observing the voice of others, because reciting supplications
collectively is Bid’ah and has no basis in the divine Shari’ah (law) of Allah.
It is recommended for Imam, Ma'mum, and
Munfarid to recite Ayat-ul-Kursy (the Qur’anic Verse of Allah’s Chair, Surah
Al-Baqarah, 2:255) inaudibly. After that, Surah-Al-Iklas (the Qur'an, Surah
112), Surah-Al-Falaq (the Qur'an, Surah 113), and Surah-Al-Nas (the Qur'an,
Surah 114) inaudbly after each obligatory Salah and repeat them three times
after the Maghrib (Sunset) and Fajr (Dawn) Salahs.
This is preferable, for the authenticity of
what we have mentioned above. May Allah's Peace and Blessings be upon our
Prophet Muhammad, His companions, and those who follow him rightfully till the
Day of Judgment.
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